How to manage anxiety within a team?

Ever leave a meeting feeling defeated & frustrated as if nothing helpful was achieved? A common example I hear is when those in attendance use the time to whinge, with each person seeming to set the other off into a spiral of complaints and negativity.

When anxiety is present one way of managing it is to share it with others and allow their shared feelings of frustration to ease the discomfort we are experiencing. Whilst it might make us feel better it doesn’t often achieve change - instead often leading to increased group feelings of dissatisfaction.

I have 2 helpful questions to ask yourself in these scenarios:

1. When you observe yourself in these meetings what is your response to your teammates/colleagues anxious behaviour?

Some common responses could be to shut down & switch off, try to appease people by providing them with a quick solution which may not be realistic or possible or respond with a more punitive approach perhaps raising your voice & setting out unfair consequences. What part do you play in this system? Is your response driven by anxiety too? Could your response be adding fuel to the fire?

2. How can I interrupt the anxious patterns & provide a space for calm, thoughtful reflection/discussion?

The first step is becoming aware of your own part in the system & then being able to manage it by remaining calm. The second is by considering what ways you may be able to calm the whole system down. An example might be simply avoiding joining in & instead making a reflective statement like “I am sensing there is a lot of worry about this.. or that..” and then when others appear more regulated asking a question such as “I wonder what we could do to help manage this worry?” - a question which will interrupt the anxious pattern of behaviour & encourage each person to take responsibility for their part, avoiding blame seeking or fixing!

Question for you:

What helps you manage anxiety in team situations?