Seeking self, dropping anchor

I observed something last week and I wonder if you ever notice this for yourself too? Things had been tracking along quite normally until last week I found myself snapping at my family and losing my cool over things that don't normally bother me. Before I knew it I was stuck in a 'funk' of exhaustion and bad mood without much clue as to how I got there!  Life can get busy, especially at the start of a new year - kids are settling back into their routines (sometimes not so smoothly!), adults are readjusting back into the work mindset (also sometimes not so smoothly!), parents are remembering what it's like to juggle several hats at once, tasks that could be set aside over the holidays all of a sudden pop back up into your view and that lovely holiday glow very quickly begins to dissipate. Taking a break from the usual routine of life can be energising, but sometimes when it's over we have a false sense of capacity which enables us to throw ourselves back into the yea...

This meme made me laugh. It’s something a lot of mums can relate to, at times like a badge of honour amongst ourselves to say ‘hey without me this family would fall apart!’ We say we don’t want our family to function this way… and yet we are a part of the problem perpetuating this pattern (myself included). Laughing about it helps with the sting of the reality… but what if this could be real life & not fantasy fiction? It IS possible. Parents who can relate to this meme are likely people who tend to do for others things which they are capable to do for themselves - this is called over functioning. Over functioners tend to feel overly responsible for others & in doing so those on the receiving end can over time allow themselves to take a back seat with the understanding that ‘I don’t need to do that or learn how to manage that, because __ will do that for me’ - under functioning. See the reciprocity in this pattern? This pattern often results in resentment for the overfunctioner...

In my last post I talked about how our bodies play a big part in our ability to regulate. A really helpful way to increase our ability to regulate is to become more in tune with what our body is feeling & then being able to use strategies to help counteract that.  For example, when some people begin to feel anxious their bodies are aware of this even before they are! It can start causing us to feel hot & sweaty, or need frequent trips to the toilet, or get an awful headache, or pins & needles in our hands, or tight sore neck muscles… these are all really helpful alerts to tell us that we need to pause before it spirals out of control & we find ourselves in deep panic. I am a big fan of practising very simple mindfulness to help with this - especially body scans, deep breathing exercises & progressive muscle relaxation. If that’s not your thing then something as simple as pausing to take a sip of water, changing your body position, taking a shower, laying on...