Seeking self, dropping anchor

This meme made me laugh. It’s something a lot of mums can relate to, at times like a badge of honour amongst ourselves to say ‘hey without me this family would fall apart!’ We say we don’t want our family to function this way… and yet we are a part of the problem perpetuating this pattern (myself included). Laughing about it helps with the sting of the reality… but what if this could be real life & not fantasy fiction? It IS possible. Parents who can relate to this meme are likely people who tend to do for others things which they are capable to do for themselves - this is called over functioning. Over functioners tend to feel overly responsible for others & in doing so those on the receiving end can over time allow themselves to take a back seat with the understanding that ‘I don’t need to do that or learn how to manage that, because __ will do that for me’ - under functioning. See the reciprocity in this pattern? This pattern often results in resentment for the overfunctioner...

Parenting is a constant laboratory… with not all experiments going to plan. The past few weeks have been a great example of this for me as I have been toilet training my 3 year old. When we began my daughter was excited & she had success right from the get go, because of this I was calm & I trusted that she would lead the process, letting me know when she needed to go. We had failed attempts in the past & I was determined to stay calm & be patient… which I was… until it all started going down hill. I picked her up from daycare & the teachers said she had multiple accidents & had been so upset that they put a nappy on for her. Fearing that she had regressed completely I didn’t even notice my anxiety creep in. I started asking her regularly “do you need to use the potty??” Which appeared to irritate her & she would respond with “I don’t!!!” & when she would have accidents I would jump to my feet and quickly reassure her that “it’s okay”. Can you see how I...