Tuning into our emotions: a series on regulation

The second factor I mentioned impacting our capacity to regulate are emotions. Each person has their own unique relationship with emotions & it can be really helpful to give yourself the space to become more aware of yours. Self-awareness is calming!

Most of us develop a baseline understanding of emotions during childhood, often by observing significant adults around us & their reactions to our different expressions of emotions. For example, a lot of clients tell me that for them growing up any expression of anger was responded to with automatic punishment leaving them to this day confused about how best to express anger in relationships & also leaving them highly anxious when faced with another’s anger (eg. Their partner or child).

A helpful way to identify which emotions raise anxiety for you is to observe yourself in relational interactions & see what triggers those anxious body responses. 

Question for you:

• Are there any emotions you avoid experiencing? Are you aware of this avoidance?.

A helpful saying I often use is ‘all feelings are okay, but not all behaviours’ - are you able to separate your feelings from your behaviours or are they too enmeshed?.