Seeking self, dropping anchor

I observed something last week and I wonder if you ever notice this for yourself too? Things had been tracking along quite normally until last week I found myself snapping at my family and losing my cool over things that don't normally bother me. Before I knew it I was stuck in a 'funk' of exhaustion and bad mood without much clue as to how I got there!  Life can get busy, especially at the start of a new year - kids are settling back into their routines (sometimes not so smoothly!), adults are readjusting back into the work mindset (also sometimes not so smoothly!), parents are remembering what it's like to juggle several hats at once, tasks that could be set aside over the holidays all of a sudden pop back up into your view and that lovely holiday glow very quickly begins to dissipate. Taking a break from the usual routine of life can be energising, but sometimes when it's over we have a false sense of capacity which enables us to throw ourselves back into the yea...

I was asked recently what is the most common challenge I see couples facing in my practice and I found it surprisingly easy to answer... can you guess?  Telepathy. The dictionary describes it as "the supposed communication of thoughts or ideas by means other than the known senses" . I'm not sure about you but I am yet to meet someone who can prove to me that they are indeed telepathic and able to read the minds of others. And yet, almost every couple that sits in front of me in therapy are behaving in ways that suggest they have the gift, and spoiler alert, it is not leading to enriching & satisfying relationships.  A fictitious example: Julia arrives home from work to her partner Rob. The house is a mess & Julia thinks to herself "Aargh, Rob is so lazy! He never helps out around the house, he knew I had a big meeting today couldn't he have at least tidied up a bit before I got home? He clearly doesn't care about how important my day was." Julia ...